Parenting teenagers is hard, even as a teen, I can identify that. As a future psychologist, I wanted to write this post from the point of view of a teenager to help you grasp the way we think.
Friend VS. Parent
Note that sometimes it is better to be a friend to your child than it is to be strictly a parent. At the end of the day, you can get your child to behave and do anything you need them to do as long as you both have an understanding of each other.
Strict Parenting
Some parents are very strict and then they are surprised and sometimes mad when their kids do not come to them for personal stuff, but if you never open up emotional communication, they, of course, are not going to feel welcome or comfortable talking to you about that sort of thing.
Respect
A common misconception about being a friend to your child is that you lose the respect that they have for you, but that isn't the case. You do not have to be a--- for a lack of a better word--- "pushover" in order to be a friend to your teenager. There is a healthy balance between being a friend and a parent, you just have to find it.
Different Kids
Different kids need different things. Some kids do need strict parents, but I'd say most kids need that parent who is a good balance between strict and non-strict. In psychology, this is called the authoritative parenting style, which is considered to be the most effective type of parenting.
Being Authoritative
This means having high demands for your children, as you would if you were strict (strict parenting is also called authoritarian parenting), but also paying attention to your child's needs. The difference between this parenting style and an authoritarian parenting style is that authoritarians have high demands and focus on punishments, while not paying much attention to their teen's needs. You do not want to be that parent.
How Can I Not be That Parent?
You can start by communicating with your teenager more and working your way from there. You know you are doing a good job when your teenager is comfortable talking to you. The trick is to just be there when your child wants to talk and for you to open up to them as well.
If you want more information and parenting tip, I recommend visiting the Child Mind Institute (https://childmind.org/) or following them on social media. Although I'm not a parent, I follow them on Instagram and I find them helpful for getting to know myself and what I need.
Thank you, I hope this post helped some of you parents out there.
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